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Jul. 22nd, 2009 | 11:47 pm
posted by: hundun in oldschoolbutch

Question seeking feedback or confirmation:

I spend most of my life in places where there are very few butch-spectrum people. Sometimes I'm around my mostly-het friends, who i knew from before coming out. My involvement in trans-spectrum activism also sees few butches or genderqueers. And work and school are usually het/cis spaces. None of these spaces are phobic per se, but I'm usually the only one there.

I like dyke events fine, but now that coming out is behind me, I'm not sure how much i want my social life to revolve around them.

My question then is: if you function in a place where there are very few butches, do you feel your identity start to erode? Do you start wondering if you "should" try a more feminine/cis appearance? What do you do with this? How do you re-centre yourself from day to day?

Or do you have any other feedback?

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Comments {3}

Not a terrorist

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from: thebigbadbutch
date: Jul. 23rd, 2009 01:50 pm (UTC)

I am butch and comfortable in my butchness. I live in an area that is very butch-phobic. So being comfortable with this part of my self was not very easy. It takes time but I have learned that being who I am without compromise makes me feel way better than throwing on some lipstick every so often.

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from: lthrdyke
date: Jul. 29th, 2009 04:19 am (UTC)

There are very few other butches in my day-to-day universe. Work, temple, the volunteer gig... hell, the way I stick out I could be a dinosaur or dodo bird. Even so, my identity doesn't erode. It's always just me, just the way I've always been.

The idea of becoming more feminine makes my bood run cold. If anyone suggests it, I usually find that polishing the boots, or working on the car helps to banish the thoughts and the frightening visuals that accompanied them.

My favorite way to recenter is to get out the clippers and retouch the crew cut. I know lots of women (butches included) who spend a ton of money on their hair. For me, it's so much more powerful to take the clippers into my own hands and do it myself. It's a tangible way of saying, "I made me."

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from: anonymous
date: Jul. 19th, 2010 04:29 pm (UTC)

Yeah, I live in a place that I stick out as well. People stare alot. It used to made me feel like I wanted to crawl underneath a rock. But, I started feeling proud of who I was! Now I think, let them stare it's their problem not mine!

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